I will start this by saying that life without a digital camera is not OK. I can't post any new pics because I haven't taken any- in weeks, I think I might go crazy, oops too late. I will have to stockpile so many cute moments with no photo back up. Colter has started this adorable little theatre class in Ridgway and they have the best costumes! We went to an epic 4 hr. Pirate Treasure Hunt bday party after class the other day. How am I supposed to top that one? It was all over the Ridgway Park and river trail and had different stations, each with it's own activity. He loved it. Dylan is cuter than ever, jumping and climbing everything. The boys got a new bunk bed and a "big boy" room makeover.
I am saying all this about pictures, I'm sure, because I still think of all the pictures I would have liked to have taken with Tyson. I know it wouldn't have mattered, he still would not be with us, but I think of all the people who didn't meet him or hold him and I would like a picture of him with everyone. Oh well, the little obsessions that stick after a good life altering trauma. Yup, we made it another year. Today marks 3 years since our world drastically changed. Our grief journey is as interesting as ever. The "build-up" was not as long this year but still intense, maybe a week or so. I have been anxious, irritable, emotional and tired. My body still aches when I let myself open up to it, and knots up when I don't. The flashbacks are still just as intense and real, just not as frequent. It is a very surreal thing to think that this is my life. I still appreciate the lessons learned so far. Little things don't bother me as much, priorities are where they should be, enjoying time more than material objects........I am so happy and grateful for what we have and know that we wouldn't be at this place if Tyson had not joined our family. Dylan and Colter are so awesome and I love where we are. Colter wanted to celebrate Tyson's birthday with a cake and some presents (of course, he was thinking of presents for him and Dylan). Hard to believe that Colter was only two, same age as Dylan is now, when all of this happened. He was and continues to be so aware of what is happening around him. We baked a pineapple upside down cake (seemed appropriate since a child's death is unnatural, backwards--upside down-from the normal cycle of life). We had a picnic at town park, went to the waterfall and river where we had Tyson's memorial, sang "Happy Birthday"and sent some flowers, blessings and tears down the river. Yesterday and today were long and tiring, I love that the Persiad meteor shower peaks at this time each year, so sweet of Tyson to have thought of that. It gives me something to watch as I sit with my temporary insomnia. I think I will sleep good tonight. I have so much more on my mind, but my fingers are tired and so am I.
Hopefully I will be able to post some pics next time.
Peace and Love to all,
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