Pictures from the broken camera...

Birthday Boy! Swimming was our favorite activity in Texas, especially if Michael, Carrie, Bonnie or Christi joined in!

First Marry Poppins viewing with Aunt Bonnie, it is now Colter's favorite movie. Just a spoon full of sugar...... and the other pic is more birthday breakfast fun.

Birthday Boy!


Carrie and Colter with the new fish. Happy boys cheesin' for the camera.


Sea World with Michael. Riding around the yard at MacMac and Grandma's.




Rolling downt the hill with Everett and Gideon. Colter's big monologue!



Watching the play with Daddy. Colter and Eli on stage.

These pics are out of order and a bit random------I was able to save the memory card from my camera and finally download using mom's camera. Also some pics from hers. Colter acted in his first real theatre production last night. Hilarious!! We all just about fell over laughing. Miss Shannon (teacher) is so creative and was the "narrator" that helped keep things kind of under control. Colter was "the guard of everything" and Elijah was a bat and a dragon. Other pics are from Kathleen and Everett's visit in July and our trip to Loveland and Austin. Birthday pics for Dylan, swimming, Sea World--- all the good stuff.

Photos and insomnia...

I will start this by saying that life without a digital camera is not OK. I can't post any new pics because I haven't taken any- in weeks, I think I might go crazy, oops too late. I will have to stockpile so many cute moments with no photo back up. Colter has started this adorable little theatre class in Ridgway and they have the best costumes! We went to an epic 4 hr. Pirate Treasure Hunt bday party after class the other day. How am I supposed to top that one? It was all over the Ridgway Park and river trail and had different stations, each with it's own activity. He loved it. Dylan is cuter than ever, jumping and climbing everything. The boys got a new bunk bed and a "big boy" room makeover.
I am saying all this about pictures, I'm sure, because I still think of all the pictures I would have liked to have taken with Tyson. I know it wouldn't have mattered, he still would not be with us, but I think of all the people who didn't meet him or hold him and I would like a picture of him with everyone. Oh well, the little obsessions that stick after a good life altering trauma. Yup, we made it another year. Today marks 3 years since our world drastically changed. Our grief journey is as interesting as ever. The "build-up" was not as long this year but still intense, maybe a week or so. I have been anxious, irritable, emotional and tired. My body still aches when I let myself open up to it, and knots up when I don't. The flashbacks are still just as intense and real, just not as frequent. It is a very surreal thing to think that this is my life. I still appreciate the lessons learned so far. Little things don't bother me as much, priorities are where they should be, enjoying time more than material objects........I am so happy and grateful for what we have and know that we wouldn't be at this place if Tyson had not joined our family. Dylan and Colter are so awesome and I love where we are. Colter wanted to celebrate Tyson's birthday with a cake and some presents (of course, he was thinking of presents for him and Dylan). Hard to believe that Colter was only two, same age as Dylan is now, when all of this happened. He was and continues to be so aware of what is happening around him. We baked a pineapple upside down cake (seemed appropriate since a child's death is unnatural, backwards--upside down-from the normal cycle of life). We had a picnic at town park, went to the waterfall and river where we had Tyson's memorial, sang "Happy Birthday"and sent some flowers, blessings and tears down the river. Yesterday and today were long and tiring, I love that the Persiad meteor shower peaks at this time each year, so sweet of Tyson to have thought of that. It gives me something to watch as I sit with my temporary insomnia. I think I will sleep good tonight. I have so much more on my mind, but my fingers are tired and so am I.
Hopefully I will be able to post some pics next time.
Peace and Love to all,

Dylan is 2!!!

I can't believe it. He is so big and so happy! We had a wonderful day full of giggles, swimming, cakes, "backpack"- Dora, playing outside, catching bugs, jumping on the trampoline......pictures later. My camera broke and I don't have a way to download right now.
Colter, Dylan and I are in Austin, Texas for a hot summer vacation. We all went down to Denver for Tim and Meagan O'byrne's wedding (super crazy and fun weekend) and then the boys and I went for a 20 hour car ride to Texas. The boys were champs and we have been having summer fun. Lots of pool time, a day at Sea World, wedding planning for my cousin Christi and food, food, food. Colter is swimming around everywhere by himself with his mask, snorkel and fins. Dylan loves the water and can swim by himself with his life jacket and his floaty fish. Dylan has more words all the time, but "no", "Mommy" and "eat" are still favorites, these days he says "pool" alot as well. He is so happy and busy. It took a couple of days, but now he has words for Bonnie (Bommy), Michael (Mymo) and Lester (Yester) and of course Mimi---sorry Carrie, Christi and Kathy and the boys- better luck next time. Very cute, still very much his own language with lots of translation. It has been great to go to a different place with people who are helpful, kind and love my kids so we can do activities that we normally don't get to do, like swim outside at 7 pm! The boys loved Sea World, even though it was 100 degrees, and we saw all the shows and animals. Michael and Colter went on a whitewater ride, cute but not dangerous. Not sure if I could live in this type of heat again, but love visiting and we are soaking it up while we are here.
Ok, here is my Mommy bragging---he is totally potty trained! He has been using the potty for a while now and I am so thrilled, so is he. He is so proud of himself and can even get on and off the potty now. So that is that, no more diapers.
Everytime we have talked about Dylan's birthday he says "orange", referring to the bike he wants when we get home or "backpack" referring to the Dora party Colter has been planning for weeks. We baked a cake, from now on to be rememberred as the "ball cake experiment", had balloons, streamers and decorations and opened presents. Dylan was very excited and enjoyed the spotlight for a day.
Colter is asking lots of questions, as usual, and loving having new people around to play and explore with. I love four years old, I think I will like five as well! He is so grown up these days and very thoughtful and resourceful. His favorite line on this trip is "Mom, I can do that, I'm a big boy!"
More later when I can post pics,

ZapMama and other July fun,

Colter and Eli swimming in the Colorado River near Moab

My surf boys all loaded up and ready to go.

Atleast we know what to get him for his birthday, he won't get off of Everett's little strider bike!

Playing in the sand. showing Mom their "cheese" smiles

ZapMama, Penelope's 100% electric car. We were in the 4th of July parade with other electric cars that were pulling a Hummer with a For Sale sign in the window. Pretty funny. The best float of the parade was named "Party like it's 2006" It was a huge group of people dressed up in all kinds of costumes, dancing and throwing $100 bills at the crowd. They had signs that said "In Madolf we trust" and "This economy will never stop!" and so many more---

We have been enjoying a bit of sun and summer, finally! It came just in time for the rainy season to start in mid July, oh well. We went to Moab with Rob and Sheila and the boys and did a super fun Moab daily river trip. It was so much fun to swim in the river, play in the sand, ride bikes around town and sit outside on the front porch until midnight in our shorts! We don't do that in Telluride, ever. Dylan has been zooming around on Everett's bike for the past week or so and actually started saying "orange" so that we would know what bike he was talking about. We are ordering him one for his birthday, orange I would imagine. He is still adding words daily and mimicks Colter constantly. The other day it was "nana booboo", nice eh? Colter has expanded on our "live in an RV" idea and now has a pink, purple, red and black with flames design in mind. It will be powered by solar panels, vegetable oil, peanut butter and orange slices, maybe apples too- not sure yet. We will have a gold jeep in the back for driving around and maybe a kitten or a small dog. He is very detailed with this stuff. That should serve him well later in life. Colter has been in a Dinosaur Art Camp every morning this week and he is having a great time. They made paintings on canvas, a found object dinosaur sculpture, clay stuff and drawings. It has been nice to do these different activities this summer and not have regular preschool. Dylan misses him all morning and tells everyone that "Dolder cool" (Colter school). Very cute. He has started to help dress himself and has opinions about which clothes he wants for the day. We have been spending tons of time outside, mostly riding bikes or playing with the new kitties at Modee and Pappy's house (while mommy and daddy fix the hydroplant) More on life later, Dylan just woke up and needs a hug and maybe some peanut butter!

June in Seattle, I mean Telluride

Ridgway Riverfest and Colter's first kayak. Blue faces from blue snowcones at Bluegrass.

Sparkly snake at Bluegrass. Hanging out having a snack in the teepee at Modee and Pappy's

Blueberries at Bluegrass (seeing the theme yet) and crazy dancing in Elk's Park.

A little hula fun at Bluegrass. A fun day in the dandelions on the Valley Floor.

Cute boys playing in the kitchen. One of first fish that Colter caught--ever! He was so excited.

June has been a blur. Can't believe July 4th is this weekend. The weather has been less than nice, quite crappy actually. It has been rainy and cold almost every day this month. I can write about it now because we have had 3 days in a row with more sun than rain and we are feeling very hopeful that summer may arrive for a while. The activities continue and we have been enjoying them. Bluegrass was four days of music, food and fun. Uncle Dave came to town for the festival and he hung out with me and boys all weekend. Colter caught his first fish and then about ten more at the kids pond. He was so proud and excited, it has been a goal for months to catch some fish. Next we have to catch ones we can keep and cook for lunch. We have been spending more quality time in Ridgway with the hydro. The boys are excited because Modee and Pappy have two new little kitties. Colter has been training them to share and take turns, ya know Mom stuff like that. We have been working on compassion and empathy lately and it is amazing to watch my kids learn and process things that are challenging for them as well as things that come easily. He is so good with animals and loves to hold and cuddle the little kitties. He and Eli had several discussions before naming them Smokey and Daisy. The negotiations were intense! Colter really wants a pet for his birthday, he is thinking kitten or salamander, I'm thinking goldfish. We'll see. Colter's mind is still in continuous motion and his questions and curiosity are endless. I love it, we are using the internet to find answers almost daily. He gets frustrated when Trevor and I don't have all the answers, "Mom, you should just know this!" "I'm sorry honey, I don't remember how many different types of ants there are in the world. We can look it up when we get home." I guess honesty is nicer than saying 'umm 46 types of ants" or Trevor's favorite answer to the "What" and "Why" questions, "because it's not a tomato". Colter would bust me on it within a few days anyway.

Dylan is so full of words these days. Today it was "all right" and "good night". He loves to parrot what Colter is saying. Also in Big Boy News, we went to the store and picked out Dylan's big boy underwear. He is doing good with the potty training thing, it has been so easy. He gets so proud of himself and has to tell Daddy or Colter everytime he goes. I am so excited to almost be done with diapers! It has been years-------on to the next chapter. We are going to gymnastics every Monday, swim lessons on Wed., festivals on the weekends, ahhh... summer. Our friends Kathleen and Everett are in town for a while and we are so happy to see them. Dylan has a train playing buddy and Colter is excited everyday to see Kathleen (one of his all time favorites) and lead Everett around to play. We went to the Ridgway Riverfest and Orvis last Saturday and to Lucia's and Reece's birthday party yesterday. Colter can fit in one of the kid sized kayaks. He is so excited about this fact and would like to try one out. Looks like Mommy might kayak again someday afterall. Lots of fun with friends in the sun! Dylan was skinny dipping with three little girls and going down the slide into the little pool laughing so hard he could barely stand up, wish I had pics of that---so cute! The kids rode horses, did the slip and slide and had a great time.

Next up, 4th of July parade and maybe some camping at McFee Reservoir.

Ten years later...

This past weekend contained two major milestones in our lives. Trevor and I celebrated our ten year wedding anniversary and we had our first family trip that included one of Colter's friends without his parents! I can't believe that we have been married that long, the time has flown by- mostly. I am glad that there has been more good times than bad and that we are still happy, healthy and enjoying our life together. It was a great weekend of rafting and camping on the Gunnison River outside of Delta. Colter and his buddy Finn had so much fun and I have never seen boys so dirty! They found a burn pile and painted themselves with ashes. They both learned what "go ahead and have fun, but you're going to get dunked in the river when you are done" means. Dylan struggled to keep up the entire time and did an amazing job of climbing, chasing and staying just out of their way, they were very nice to him and helped him out when he got stuck somewhere. Colter and Finn are so cute together and they are great buddies. I love the imagination, questions, activity, creativity and resourcefullness that is a four year old boy. They found all kinds of bugs, snakes, built "super bridges" across small creeks, climbed up the side of the hill to find the 'secret cave", climbed trees, hiked to tall bridges, and so much more. We all fit in our tent and all kids slept through the night- I wasn't expecting that. Dylan is getting right into two year old-ness, good and bad, wow where did my little baby go? He is terrorizing his brother and can throw a great foot stomping fit. Colter says "Don't worry Dylan, I used to do that, you will get bigger and learn." On that note, Colter asked me today "Mom, how do you make your dreams come true?" and "Mom, do foxes have foreheads?" We are back to the daily chaos that is our life these days and looking forward to more breaks to go and play. The last pic is Dylan with his Baby. It is one of my Cabbage Patch kids that my mom saved for the last 25 years! He loves this little baby and sleeps with it every day and night. So cute.

Springtime, finally!

Ok, settle in folks--this is going to be a long one! We have had a great month of adventure. As always it is hard to believe how quickly the boys are growing and changing. Dylan is adding words everyday, today's word is "no", that should be interesting. He loves "river, pool, boat" and anything with water. Colter keeps us on our toes with winners like "Oh for goodness sake, that's not going to work at all Mom!" And "when we move to Moab or Mexico, we'll just visit our friends in Telluride alot, Mom does it snow in Moab?" Yes, sometimes. "Oh, I guess it's Mexico then." And so many others that I need a tape recorder. Our trip to Moab was a much needed break from reality. We did something fun everyday and loved the hot weather. Outside at 7:30 am in shorts and t-shirts and we stayed there until after dark---I do love the heat! We rafted, camped, hiked, biked, played soccer, enjoyed the Roufa's house in town, played in Mill Creek down the Steelbender road, Canyonlands, Castle Valley, the amazing music park, Milt's, Milt's and more Milt's, moped rides (Dylan's favorite!), chased, caught and played with every bug imaginable, dug in the dirt, and so much more...it was very hard to head home. Funny saying that when we live in such a great place! The boys loved everything about Moab, especially all of the time with Daddy and Mommy with no distractions. We did two raft trips on the Colorado, one with Trevor's parents who joined us for a few days including Mother's Day and Mac's birthday and one full day with just the four of us. We had a nice visit with Mac and Carol and stayed busy the entire time touring the area and playing around town. Dylan isn't sold on the "updowns" on the river yet and spent his time in the waves saying "none, none...none, none...BACK!" and pointing up river. He'll come around I'm sure. It didn't help that he was taking a nap in back and a rogue wave splashed over the side and landed on his head. Oops. Colter is a bug man. We brought the bug catcher cage and he went nuts. He caught, named and took care of catapillars, ants, rolly-pollys, tadpoles, spiders, butterflies, crawdads, and anything else moving. I had no idea there were so many colors and types of ants and so many ways to squash them. He was protecting queen mommy, ya know. MacMac brought him a squirt gun and he didn't want to put it down the rest of the trip. Dylan woke up every morning, put on his "boop bops" (flip flops) and helmet and then went out to the moped and sat on it until Daddy took him for a ride. So cute. Colter is really good at starting and riding his big bike and was racing all over town. He has great balance and is building strength and stamina with each passing day. At this age, just biking or walking around town to the various parks and trails is entertaining for the boys. I hope our boys are always so happy just to be outside and enjoying nature. Trevor was able to ride his motorcycle a good bit, and I got to hike. It was very relaxing and will get us through the next few months of business as usual. I love travelling with Trevor and the boys and look forward to many more fun, family adventures!

We made it home at the beginning of the week and dove right back into work, literally. The fast and furious spring run off has been a challenge for the hydro plant. We have been putting on the rafting gear to wade through the intake pond atleast twice a day to clear rocks, leaves and other goodies from the screens. Even had to involve a backhoe twice already. So we are spending lots of time at Modee and Pappy's new house. The boys love to play there and Colter said it would be Ok if we stayed all summer. At this rate, we will be!